Cabradine

Once upon a time there was a sloth who wanted very badly to be a belly dancer.

People said “It’s not that a sloth can’t be a dancer—
we live in an enlightened age, 
a sloth can do whatever she wants—
but still—perhaps a stately waltz or minuet? 
Sloths are not quick.
That’s just the way it is.”

But the sloth’s one desire was to be a belly dancer, and so she was,
dancing to the tambour and the wailing flute.
She was very slow. It took all night.
Most people left.

But a few people stayed, and thought
that it was worth the wait. - Ursula Vernon

animalstalkinginallcaps:

SO YOU THINK HE’S CHEATING ON YOU?

NO, IT’S NOT THAT. I THINK HE’S UNSATISFIED IN THE RELATIONSHIP SO HE’S PUTTING HIMSELF IN SITUATIONS WHERE THAT SORT OF THING COULD HAPPEN. JUST KIND OF TESTING THE WATERS, YOU KNOW? I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF IT’S A CONSCIOUS MANEUVER. HE MIGHT HAVE CONVINCED HIMSELF IT’S ALL HARMLESS, FRIENDLY SOCIAL INTERACTION. IT’S NOT CHEATING BECAUSE HE DOESN’T INTEND TO CHEAT, BUT THAT’S STILL WHERE IT’S ALL HEADED, YOU UNDERSTAND?

I GUESS SO, YEAH.

IF I TRY TO CONFRONT HIM ABOUT IT HE’LL USE THAT AS AN EXCUSE TO MAYBE CROSS THE LINE, RIGHT? OR TO END THE RELATIONSHIP. HE’LL SAY I’M BEING JEALOUS, OR CONTROLLING, BUT I’VE TRIED TO BE MORE LOVING AND ATTENTIVE AND IT DOESN’T WORK. HE’S DISENGAGED, EMOTIONALLY, AND IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THINGS GO SOUTH. MY WINGS ARE TIED ON THIS ONE. I DON’T HAVE ANY VIABLE OPTIONS, BUT I DON’T WANT TO LOSE HIM, SO …

SO YOU WANT ME TO EAT THE GIRLS HE WORKS WITH.

YES. IF I DO ANYTHING IT WILL JUST TURN INTO ANOTHER FIGHT, WHICH I’M TRYING TO AVOID. IF THEY DON’T SHOW UP ON MONDAY … WELL, SHIT HAPPENS, RIGHT? AND MAYBE IT BUYS ME ENOUGH TIME TO REMIND HIM WE’RE IN LOVE.

YOU’RE GOING TO OWE ME BIG TIME. YOU KNOW THAT.

I KNOW, ABSOLUTELY. THANK YOU, CHRISTINE. I MEAN IT. YOU’RE A GOOD FRIEND.

thefrogman:

Drawn by Liz Climo [tumblr | twitter]